My Why?

From as early as I can remember, I was aware that I was overweight, or as it was embedded in my head “fat.”  Maybe that was attributed to the reminders that I often received from classmates starting as early as the first grade.  I can still remember being teased at school and coming home with tears in my eyes questioning my mom, “Why am I so fat?”.  I still feel for that little boy, who at such an early age was walking around with insecurities and avoiding any scenario in which weight, appearance, or food could be referenced.  Reflecting on it now, as an adult, rarely would I ever allow myself to enter a completely para-sympathetic state because I always felt like I had to be “on-guard”.

These are photos of me growing up and instead of being a care free, happy, confident pre-teen, I didn’t want to play for the “Huskies” because it was one step closer to someone teasing me about my weight.  I was terrified of the idea of ever having to play “shirts” vs “skins” and having to take my shirt off.  It pains me to look back and know that kid did not love himself or the way he looked.  I thought I was deeply flawed and my weight became something that I was hyper-aware of without any real solutions on how to become “healthier”. 

Fall of 1998

Spring of 2001

For that matter neither did my mom, which broke her heart.  Having to deal with a child who is sobbing after school because one of the older kids on the bus called me fat.  Re-iterating time and time again that she loved me, God loved me and made me this way for a reason.  Despite her positive reinforcement, it didn’t alter the way I felt about myself, nor did it offer the support I needed to make healthier choices.  When I turned 13 in June, I made up my mind that I was going to lose weight and had been called fat for the last time.  That was the time period when the “Atkins Diet” was all the rage and my grandfather had just lost a significant amount of weight, so I was going to follow that plan.  For a year I didn’t knowingly eat a carbohydrate, not a slice of cake at birthday parties, not a piece of candy at Halloween, (not recommended for active/growing teenagers or anyone for that matter), but it did result in me losing 40 lbs. that year (Yes, I know that is not the true “Atkins Diet”, but I was 12-13 year old with limited knowledge.).  This is a photo of me in the following Spring, and for the first time I remembered liking the way I looked in a picture, which I should have been doing all along.

Spring of 2002

So why did I start a Nashville Nomad Fitness?  Ultimately, it is to help people achieve their health and fitness goals, no matter if that is to lose weight, gain strength, improve mobility, gain confidence in the weight room, etc. which my story plays a pivotal role in. Nothing lights a fire within me more, than someone having a specific health and fitness goal and entrusting me in helping them achieve it the best way I know how.  It is to help anybody and everybody who has ever dealt with insecurities regarding their weight or body image or individuals who feel uncomfortable stepping into a gym setting.  It is for the young “Trents” in the world, and their parents, who are searching for answers on how to lead a healthier lifestyle.  It is something that has been tugging on my heart strings for far too long and I continued to let my fears regarding income, job titles, and what my resume looks like stand in the way of pursuing my passion to help others.  Maybe my mom was right, maybe I was made that way for a reason, so I can use my past experiences to better serve people.  My Why!